LETTING GO AND LETTING GOD IS NOT A PASSPORT TO INERTIA.

There is such wisdom in the Serenity Prayer, which is recited at every 12 Step Meeting. GOD, GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE, THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN AND WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE." It is the final phrase that is the challenge. It is also said that God does not drive a parked car. We need to follow a dual path--knowing full well that we do not control the outcome of others, but also knowing that there are some more effective attitudes and behaviors and actions that we might try when attempting to encourage or motivate the active addict toward wanting help. It is imperative that we reach out to professionals, 12 Step literature, 12 Step family meetings, or the wealth of literature now available on the subject. We need to stop our reactions and start responding from a base of knowledge and facts. A common uninformed family behavior is to react over and over. Why do we keep on repeating actions that have never worked? As an Alanon member once said: The addict is on drugs and we need to be on Alanon.

Warm regards,
Nan Reynolds

VERITIES AND BALDERDASH

VERITIES:
CHEMICAL DEPENDENCY IS NOT
A MENTAL ILLNESS
A BAD HABIT
A MORAL WEAKNESS
A SIGN OF BAD CHARACTER
A RESULT OF LIFE'S PRESSURES
A TEMPORARY LOSS OF CONTROL

BALDERDASH:
TO THINK THAT ANY OF THE ABOVE IS TRUE!!!!

How many hours and years family members mull over all of the reasons why they think that the addict they love is using alcohol and other drugs. We think of reason after excuse after explanation.

The fact is that chemical dependency is it's own entity. It has a life of it's own. There is an old saying that the man takes a drink, the drink takes the drink and then the drink takes the man. The first time the drug is used may well be just a social decision. It may be used in the hope that it will enhance an already fun time. The altered state of mind and feelings may also be sought as a solution to a problem. Then the solution eventually becomes another problem. The fact is that there are many people with mental illness or life pressure or moral weaknesses who do not alter their minds with alcohol or other drugs.
It is important that family members learn to understand that addiction clouds and confuses the picture. Like cream in coffee. For example, alcohol is a depressant. Many alcoholics are surprised to find that when they stop ingesting a depressant, they stop being depressed. The first thing that needs to stop is the chemical use. It is only then that a clear picture can emerge of other issues that need to be addressed, if any.

Warm regards,
Nan Regards