THE RISK TO REMAIN TIGHT IN A BUD WAS MORE PAINFUL THAN THE RISK IT TOOK TO BLOSSOM (ANAIS NIN)

There is so much loss and grief in life. It is so difficult to allow grief. It hurts. It paralyzes. It is like standing in bubble gum. Sometimes it lasts for months or years, even forever. We distract ourselves and find ways to avoid facing the losses. We fall into anger or depression or spend our days and energies on bargaining away the loss (trying to make it not have happened with all of our 'what if' thinking and blaming and avoidance.)
Unresolved grief can be like a cancer that eats away at our progress and recovery. Someone once stated that the hallmark of a true adult was one who could see reality, accept responsibility for their own behaviors, and could do their grief work.
The following is a good visual analogy for grieving. It is a myth, but very helpful.
When lions go on a hunt, they pick the oldest and biggest of the pride to sit in the middle of the clearing as they wait for the prey to appear in the circle. This old guy has no teeth and no claws and no clear eyesight----but he can surely roar the loudest of all. So he waits--the prey appears --his roar is enormous--the prey runs into the surrounding brush.
Guess what is in the brush?? The real danger; the lionesses and younger males.
The moral of the story is simple: GO FOR THE ROAR.
It is also the wisdom of grief. You need to cry and allow the feelings and, indeed, lean into them. There is no right way to do this. Just do it. The danger in the brush for us is all of the ways we distract ourselves from the pain and allow it to fester and settle in and contaminate our health and emotional life. Crying is OK. Crying is healthy. Crying is cathartic.
Crying is what the body wants us to do. Wherever did we get the idea that it was not dignified or manly??
This emotional honesty uncorks us for progress and growth and moving on. I always remind myself that blossoming requires moisture.