Thursday, January 22, 2009

SOMETIMES, THE ONLY THING YOU CAN DO "TO" AN ALCOHOLIC IS THE ONLY THING THAT WILL HELP.

PONDERING FOR THE DAY:
SOMETIMES, THE ONLY THING YOU CAN DO "TO" AN ALCOHOLIC IS THE ONLY THING THAT WILL HELP.

The Ad Council once ran this as an ad. It surely recognized that the responses we need to follow in relationship with an addict do seem, at times, cruel, unloving and harsh. It does indeed feel like a punishment or an angry decision. However, it is possible to say "No' lovingly.

Why is is that we feel we must be angry to say No? Lovingly----That is the ultimate destination for a family member, and this attitude is learned in attendance at 12 step family meetings available in 157 countries. It is important to match our attitude to the facts. The fact is that none of our home remedy efforts to help the addict are effective if they are efforts to fix yet another mess made by the addicts' use.
To refuse to be a part of the problem is, at first , very hard on the family or friend. We are delusional,however, if we feel that one more bail out of any kind is helpful. It is only a Band-aid on a gaping wound.
We will later explore the process of Interventions, which is highly effective. Even this great tool feels as if we are doing something TO the alcoholic or addict. That is, until everyone realizes that it is the most loving form of ToughLove. Tough on us and the addict.