Friday, October 31, 2008

IS YOUR OWN SELF-GROWTH ABANDONED IN FAVOR OF WAITING FOR OTHERS TO CHANGE?

PONDERING FOR THE DAY:

IS YOUR OWN SELF-GROWTH ABANDONED IN FAVOR OF WAITING FOR OTHERS TO CHANGE?


It is so common to become eclipsed by someone else's problems, and as addiction begins to take the relationship hostage, one easily begins to put their energy into trying to "fix" that other person.

I remember a man who said he had purchased a boat for entertainment, but was afraid to take his wife out on the water for fear she might get drunk and fall overboard. When asked, he realized that he had not been on that boat for 6 years!

How common it is to postpone the dreams and plans in life waiting for the addict to stop using. Like, where did I go??

Ask yourself: What will I do if nothing ever changes?

The sad reality is that none of your sacrifices will change another person. Another example I have heard so many times is the wife quitting work because the addict complains that her being gone creates his need to drink. So--she then finds herself at home simply watching him drinking. Nothing changes, except her loss of a source of self esteem and security.