Monday, August 17, 2009

Facts do not cease to exist just because they are ignored

Mental health is said to be a dedication to reality at all costs. Denial and delusion are really great defense tools to keep us out of pain. The problem is that we tend to stay in pain in order to avoid pain.

Truth hurts, but at least you can deal with it. Trying to not face reality is like punching away at a fog. There are so many times when one has only a random moment of perception. Here and then gone. We need to go from being ignorant of being ignorant to being aware of being aware.

So, what am I talking about? I am remembering how I thought my husband had sinus trouble because he was always sick (alcohol will do that.) I often called his work and made the excuses. I am remembering how I thought my son had a bad cold when his nose kept running (cocaine will do that.) I am remembering how I believed the mouth of addiction.

Denial can be wonderful as it offers a temporary soothing of the heart. It seems to me that there is the denial that follows knowing and the denial of truly not knowing. Both are only a detour from truth. It is also a fact that when you do not know you are hanging on to something, such as a delusion, it is awfully hard to let go.

I think that denial is the biggest issue for families. It is one of the biggest contributors to not being truly helpful to the addict. I want to say “wake up!” and try to see things as they really are and not as you would have them be.