PONDERING FOR THE DAY
THE CHOICE IS ALWAYS OURS (ALDOUS HUXLEY)
There are so many dilemmas and questions and choices if you are in a relationship with someone who is addicted. There are not too many "rights" or "wrongs". The situations are all so different, even though they are so alike. It is like having a cat up a tree. We all know what that must be like, but there are different cats and different trees.
It occurred to me one day that I really was between two unpleasant choices for myself. If I said "YES" to the person, I would feel resentment. If I said "NO" to the person I would feel guilt. I used to even feel guilty about feeling guilty!.
Over the years and multiple opportunities to make such a decision, the choice of feeling guilt took priority over the choice of feeling resentment. The fact is that I got much better at shedding guilt rather rapidly and not so hot at letting go of resentments. So--No it was and Guilt it was. It felt like being kind to myself and, amazingly, the world still turns.
About Me
- Nan
- Nan Reynolds has been involved with families who love an addict for over 28 years. She has degrees in nursing, addiction studies and social work. She holds a LMSW and a Certified Addiction Counselor from Michigan. Working at Brighton Hospital, she developed and supervised their Family and Friends program for two decades. Her most enlightening training, however, occurred in her personal family. As she says: "Take my advice, I am not using it." Nan is telling "Chuckie," who represents the addiction that has moved into the home, to "hit the road and be gone!
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